Kites
by DunkinDonutsHobo
Summary: “Everyone, they’ve all lost their sense of place in the world, like kites without strings or tails.” I was the kite, she held the string, but I made her let go. Oh Annie, you were too right, but I'm going to get her back, my woman; My Valentine.
1. Prologue

**Prologue**

"Everyone, they've all lost their sense of place in the world, like kites without strings or tails."

Those were some of Annie's last words. I found them true even then, but now even more so. I took a long drag of my cigarette and exhaled, looking to the blood red sky of the setting sun. I hated this planet, but I was attached to it all the same; this was where it all started and where it's likely to end, the place where I've already died twice.

I was lost then as I am now, except then I thought by searching for my angel, my Julia, was my purpose, then when I found her, I couldn't run away with her. I found out then, she was not my proof that I was alive; just someone who I shared a dream with, someone I shared a nightmare with. I loved her, but in a way where I couldn't believe any of it was real, for it really wasn't you see, it was all a dream. Then it all ended, and I was still that kite without a string, same as before I met her.

Then slowly something changed. I didn't live in a dream anymore. I was anchored to reality, a reality I began to think of as my home. It was the Bebop. Altogether it was what gave me a sense of meaning. At first, it was just an aid in my search for Julia, then something happened. Jet and I, we became partners; comrades. I've always hated three things, women with attitude, kids, and dogs. Somewhere along the way we managed to pick up all three. Ed and Ein I could never understand, I just accepted it. They grew on me as well, I came to think of them as part of the Bebop, a part that without, we could not stand.

Then there was Faye, Faye Valentine. She was the string to my kite. She was what held me down to reality, to the Bebop. At first, I thought I'd miss her purely out of familiarity. At that point I still thought Julia was what I lived my life for, that was proven wrong when I couldn't run with her, I still wasn't sure if I was really alive. I was the one who foolishly cut that string by going back to fight my past, even though I was the one who told her the past doesn't matter.

It's been two years and I still miss her. It wasn't familiarity, it was something more. Something I didn't want to give it a name. I see her face when I sleep. I see her face when I wake up. The memory of Julia melodic humming was replaced by Faye's off key mumbling. Two years, and everyday I wish I was back on the Bebop, hunting bounties, eating Jet's bell peppers and beef (sans the beef), watching Ed's spastic actions, and smoking with Faye, fighting with Faye, seeing Faye, being with Faye. Two years ago I walked away from the woman who gave me my sense of place in the world, and that woman was not Julia.

I put my cigarette out on the ash tray. Walking away from the window I headed part my desk toward the elevator. Taking the elevator to the Lobby floor, I was immediately flanked by Touya and Haji. All the suits I passed bowed as I made my way to the double glass doors, my trench coat billowing behind me.

"Spike-sama." Touya said accompanying it with a bow, I stopped before I left the building deciding to make an announcement.

"Get ready for hell boys." I said loud and clear for all of them to hear, then I proceeded walking out the doors.

I smirked, It was time to get my woman back.

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So this is just the beginning, everything will be explained later, but what's the fun in giving it all away so soon? Please review guys! I'd appreciate it! =)


	2. Ghost

Thanks for reviewing piper, burichifan, safarigirl83, and Joyal. lol, oh yeah and one concern that was brought up was that Spike was being to out of character, the guy had two years, a good twenty four months, roughly seven hundred and thirty days to contemplate this. But I get what you mean though, and he didn't really say he loved her or even liked her, it's just implied a tab 3 Oh yeah, and the story isn't in Spike's POV the entire way through, I just thought it was the best way to get stuff out in the open. But yay! I love reviewers! Get ready guys, this one is kinda long.

* * *

**Faye**

"Faye-Faye!" I felt a poke on my right cheek.

"Faye-Faye!" came another disgruntled call and this time a poke on my left cheek.

I groggily opened my eyes to see an upside down version of Edward's face. That little monkey. I reached my hands out to grab her and pull her off of me, but like a snap she had already bound out the room, Ein closely following behind her. It hadn't taken long for Ed to find her way to the Bebop. We weren't sure exactly how it happened, but one day after a particularly wearying bounty Jet and I walked in to find her and Ein running around the common room.

I sat up in my bed and rubbed my eyes. This room, the room that had been my room for two years, but how long could it last? The metal walls bore no pictures, the sheets were a plain off white, the floor was devoid of any dirty clothes, everything I owned was neatly packed in a suitcase in the corner of her room. The only thing that would be remotely identifiable was the smashed pieces of a beta player and the scattered remains of a beta tape.

There had once been a person who said, "No matter the past, you still have a future." Too bad he didn't believe that himself I thought clenching the sheets in my hands. Idiot, I thought, but even so, I felt hot tears pool in the corners of my eyes. Why am I bothering with this now? It's been two years, I have come to terms with the fact that dead people stay dead. I remembered how much I tried to fight this fact, I even went to the Indian Shaman who told me nothing but ambiguous statements; some crap about how "In death new life is born; Swimming Bird knows this as truth." I wasn't asking about a swimming bird, I was asking about Spike. Taking my pillow and hurtling it across the room I shakily got up and furiously swiped at my eyes. I quickly changed into my usually yellow hotpants get up.

Walking out of my room I moved down the hallway and spotted the mustard yellow couches and heard the sound of Jet frying something in a pan. We could afford beef now, at least for today, with the last bounty we took in, because Jet and I still do that. We take on bounties, usually I take them by myself because someone has to watch the ship and Ed. I've gotten used to hunting on my own, it's less complicated without a partner, but less thrilling all the same.

"Oh Faye, you're up. I've got Bell Peppers and Beef coming up." Jet said, peeking out of the kitchen. Why does he wear such ridiculous aprons? I smiled, he was such a mom sometimes. Jet and I had become partners, even closer than that maybe. We became something akin to family, including Ed and Ein. We all started out as people who had no where to turn to, then we turned into a place called home. We all looked out for one another, Jet being the father of the family…and on occasion quite the mother.

I said nothing as I laid myself down on the couch and turned on Big Shots. Turns out they really weren't cancelled after all, guess Blondie got her agent on them like she promised she would.

"Howdy Ya'll! Get ready for the biggest of biggest bounties on the history of our show!"

"That's right all you fellas and galls out there! Get ready for the biggest one of all time!"

"But who is it? Oh please tell me!" Blondie whines on the screen, I'm tempted to turn it off, but I know with the amount of my debt, I needed the 'biggest of biggest bounty.' Also, my Redtail and the Bebop needed some repairs, something that Jet never fails to mention.

The guy on TV shrugs sympathetically, "We have no idea! No picture, no real name, no identifiable features, nothing!"

"Jet, I hate this show. This shit should have really been cancelled. " I groan as I reach to get the remote and change the channel.

"We do have a nickname though, Swimming Bird everyone! A bounty worth a whopping 300,028,931 woolo-" I think my heart stopped as I shot up from the couch. 300,028,931 woolongs?!? My hand stopped mid channel change and instantly went back. That can't be possible. Ed had managed to find her way to this room, "Pretty number!" she squealed and immediately set for her Tomato.

"_What?_" I heard Jet shout, _what_ was right. Not even Jet knows this, but that was the _exact _amount of my debt. Down to the last woolong, the _exact_ amount. My head went spinning. There was no way something like that could be so simple. I've never let myself imagine a life without debt. With the amount I owned there was no realistic way to pay it off. My game plan for the past five years had been to avoid debt collectors and run till the day I die. It had been working out for me so far.

"You heard me right all you bounty hunters!"

"But the only information we have is that his nickname is Swimming Bird."

"That's kind of an oxymoron right Punch?"

"You bet Judy! Well that's all we got for you!"

"You go get him!"

Their theme music played signaling the end of their show. All was quiet on the Bebop, Jet came out of the kitchen carrying a plate of his specialty. His face set in cold stone, not a happy face at all. But for 300,028,931 woolongs? Why wouldn't you be anything but happy? Everything we've brought in have been small fried compared to this one bounty. I could see Jet was thinking hard about something as he sat down cross armed on the sofa.

"Mars! Bebop goes to Mars!" Ed shouted into the quiet room. My eyebrow rose, we haven't been to Mars ever since…I knew Jet had the same line of thought for we refused to look at each other.

"Mars Ed?" I asked, Jet staunchly refused to meet my gaze.

"Swimming Bird comes from Mars." Ed said happily swaying from side to side. After the initial shock of the sum, I really heard the name. Swimming Bird; that's the name the Indian Shaman gave me, I shrugged, it really meant nothing besides that I needed to hunt down that Shaman again. Granted it wasn't the information I wanted when I first went to him, it was something that meant more now. I felt this inexplicable urge, no a need, to hunt this one down. I felt a pull towards it, it was something you felt when you know you're suppose to be doing something, it eats away at the back of your mind.

"Jet, I went to a Shaman…two years ago and he told me he knew Swimming Bird. I'll go search there first." Jet still hadn't looked at me or said a word. He sat opposite of me solid as a rock. I could see something brewing behind his eyes. His mouth was set in something of a grimace.

"Jet-" I started.

"Faye. We shouldn't go for this one." He sighed and uncrossed his arms to pick up his plate. He silently started eating while Ed crept up to the table and stole her plate away and ran away with it balanced upon her heard, Ein barking happily after her. The room was quiet.

"Jet, were you listening to the bounty on this guy!" I was starting to get annoyed. It felt strange, I was never angry at Jet. He was the only person I could rely on, the only person I could depend on. Arguing with him was something that only happened when _he_ was still around. Ever since then, we most arguing we've ever done was about what we were going to eat for dinner. Bounties were always my territory.

"Faye, I said no." He said resolutely and put his plate back down. By this point I could tell he was holding out on me. There was something he knew about this one, something that he wasn't willing to share. Although we've grown close to the point of family, it was the past that we never talked about. We never talked about what happened before two years ago, it was just the things from the present and on that we knew about each other, but we thought it was enough.

"But Je-"

"Can't you just let it go!" He sounded angry this time, his voice was laced with a sort of regret as well. What was this? The tension in the room reminded me of when I accused Jet of letting _him_ walk to his death. It was a moment we never spoke of again.

"Why are you being so damn stubborn! I don't need you telling me what to do! I can pick up and leave anytime I want you hear that?! You're not the one who risks their life for these fucking bounties anyway!" I shut my mouth, a little shocked at myself. This was Old-Faye. This was Jet I was talking to. We were both standing up at this point, glaring each other in the eye. Slowly we settled down unto the sofas again, never breaking eye contact.

"Faye, listen to me," he sighed, taking out a cigarette, he offered the pack to me, I took one and offered my lighter, it was our unspoken apology, "Mars will cause nothing but problems and complications; things that we don't need. You've come such a long way from everything about that place. Don't go drudging up a past that doesn't want to be found."

I understood all of what he said, I knew the significance of his words. After _his_ death, I scoured the planet for a hint, just a clue, of what happened to _him_ after. He left nothing in his wake but an abandoned and wrecked building. There was no police report, there were no hospital records, there was nothing that had anything to do with him. The only information I was able to pry was from that old coot Shaman who gave me info on something I didn't even ask for, I took a drag out of my cigarette. I remembered now, I was a wreck…

"Jet, you know I have a debt, I'm not talking about duty or honor or any shit like that, I mean money." I said, laying back on the couch crossing my legs and leaned my head back against the top of the couch. Jet looked surprised, we never talked about it, I never offered anything about myself ever, but over the years he's come to know when I'm serious.

"How much?"

"Around 300,030,000 woolongs." I didn't want to tell the exact number, he'd know as well as I do that it was exceptionally fishy that a bounty with that exact number would appear. Besides, it was all coincidence anyway, I was never one for believing in fate. I've been gambling and cheating all my waking years, I knew how the world really worked. Jet let out a low whistle and closed his eyes. Yeah, when I first woke up to my debt I was in shock too.

"Jet, this 'swimming bird' nonsense, I feel like it's something I have to do," Besides being debt-free, a concept I still haven't fully wrapped around my head, it felt like this was what I've been waiting for these two years. Something in my gut was telling me this one was just for me, "Call it woman's intuition." I lazily smiled at Jet. He grunted and spit the unfinished cigarette on his now empty plate, I guess Poker Alice couldn't win at everything.

"Do what you want." He said gruffly, pushing himself off the couch and heading towards the navigation room. I could tell he was still unhappy but I couldn't tell if I really cared all too much, but I knew he was already setting course for Mars as I sat here.

* * *

**Two Days Later**

**Jet**

I saw her get ready to go out to this godforsaken city on this miserable planet. Her Redtail was already on deck and I glared at her as she opened the cockpit. I knew she felt my glare, but all she did was smile and throw me a peace sign. Something about this bounty I could just tell was going to end badly. That and I knew who Swimming Bird was. I could only hope she never finds him; that she never has to know. God knows that girl has endured all that she can take, but at the same time I knew she is tough. She didn't need me watching her back all the time. She is a big girl.

Swimming Bird, that's a name that I didn't want to or plan on hearing anytime soon. Ugh, I needed a smoke. I knew who it really was, just as I was Running Rock, he was Swimming Bird. Two conflicting ideas that embodied the person who was named so, crazy old coot. I hadn't believed the old guy then, and I sure as hell don't believe him now. He told me not to fear death, but death was everywhere and I found that with my new family crew, I had a lot to lose.

For all she knew Swimming Bird was some crazed convict escapee, it would have been better if it was just that. I knew that this was his way of connecting to her. This was his way of bringing her to him. I also knew that it would explode in his face like most things tended to. Idiot. I had let her go to him. For so long I had shielded her from this, kept her as far away from this planet we could go. Somehow, things had a funny way of working out. There was nothing I could do after she decides to do something, that was something of Faye that would never change. All I could do was watch over the Bebop, giving them a place to return to.

"Jet-Person! Ed and Ein is hungry!" I sighed, feeling the little girl and dog latch onto either one of my legs. I waved them off and they went off zooming into the kitchen where they know I will soon be to get them some food.

Looking one last time up to the sky I saw a bright yellow star shine brightly through the twilight sky. I briefly wondered what that old coot would say about that, probably something cryptic and disappointing. Did that guy ever have good news? I threw my cigarette overboard and turned back to the Bebop, making my way inside.

* * *

**Faye**

Everything was bathed in an ethereal golden red glow, from the buildings to the trees to the stationary people themselves. The neon light signs were starting to one by one light up creating a light show in the sky. Children could be seen running home for dinner, old men were packing up their cards and chess pieces, times for games would have to wait for tomorrow. Day was ending and the night life was beginning, this change was marked with the first promiscuous ladies on the arms of dangerous looking suits strolled the streets looking for the nearest bar.

I flew over the city soundlessly, I continued going out to the very outskirts of the city, then even further to the desert lands. I landed my zipcraft a little ways down from a large tent with a fire blazing in front of it. This was where I started my search last time as well. Walking towards the tent I ignored the little boy and wolf sitting around the fire, gazing up at me with wide eyes. Upon entering the tent rich scents disorientated my sense of smell and the heavy smoke glazed my sight. The old mad sitting towards the back of the tent did not give acknowledgment that I had entered.

"The one you seek is not here child." His old rumbling voice cut through the fog. How did he always know what people wanted.

"I hardly think I'm still a child." I sadly smiled, I must really be around eighty years old already.

"Swimming Bird will come to you, you only need decide whether to follow." He turned away and went further into the tent.

"Wait! That's it? That's all you're going to give me?"

"I've done all for the Timeless Fairy in my power." With that he became unresponsive, turning away from me and playing with his sand. My hands clenched into fists, this was the only lead I had. Walking out of the tent, I decided to rethink Jet's words. Maybe this one was just a waste of time. The little boy and wolf watched me with wide eyes as I climbed into my Redtail. Back to the Bebop it seemed. It had already gotten dark and there was nothing more that could be done. I flew over the city till I reached our harbor. I saw the Bebop, but I thought better of it. Flying past the Bebop I spotted a neon sign advertising a bar. I landed my craft and walked up to it.

A creaky wooden sign hung low over the door, it read _The Crow_. What a dreary name for a bar. The building was old, imperfect cracks were found all over the plastered outer walls. The door creaked upon my entrance, signaling my entrance. There were only a few people in the bar, a dirty sloucher in the furthest bar stool seat, a couple suits sitting in a corner booth, and a few scattered loners sitting here and there. The place seemed colorless, just shades of black everywhere you turned.

"Anything I can get you?" The bartender leaned flirtatiously over the bar. I felt his eye roam over my body once or twice, if I played my cards right I wouldn't have to pay for my drinks.

"Vodka Tonic." He set off to do his job, showing off by flipping and juggling bottles, swiftly catching them in both hands. I pulled my face into a stunned mask, flashing my pearly whites at him. He winked my way and sent the drink down the bar saying, "On the house." Oh what magical words. After a short conversation, ending with him slipping me a napkin with his number, Josh, that was his name I found out, walked away to tend to the other customers. He probably thought he was being so suave, I thought I was bit cute.

I threw back my head and downed the rest of my head, slamming it down on the counter when I finished. Immediately Josh came back with round two. Then with round three, all on the house, it was after the third that I cut myself off. I knew when I couldn't remember the bartender's name that it was time to leave. I staggered off the stool with some difficulty. I wasn't drunk, just slightly tipsy, after years of drinking straight Vodka, what I drank tonight was nothing, amateur at best. I walked out onto the street, making my way towards the parking lot when I saw movement out of the corner of my eye.

It was a figure, no, it was man. A man in a long, high collared trench coat, he was walking away, something about the way he walked. The motion was rhythmic and gave off such an undisturbed, serene vibe, like someone who had not a care in the world. It felt so familiar. The only part I could see of their head was a mass of fluffy hair, my heart seemed to stop. My vision blurred some more and my steps became uneven as I slowly trailed him, I couldn't tell if it was because I was tipsy or because of the shock.

The man walked under a lamp post and I saw the green glint of his hair. My eyes blurred with tears, it couldn't be him. He turned suddenly into an alley a little ways down from the bar and out of my sight. I ran to catch up, my foot catching on one of the jagged pavement stones. I fell hard and scrapped my right knee and both hands in attempt to catch myself. I groaned in pain, but I had no time to examine them. The man was getting away. Picking myself up I ran around the same corner.

He wasn't there, but then I saw another movement at the corner of another alleyway branching off of this one. Running towards it I saw it was a dead end. He was standing there, facing me, smirking. There he was, standing in all his glory, bathed in the moonlight, his tall frame leaning against the alley wall. So like him, a half bent cigarette was lit between his lips, but it was what he said that made me lost it.

"Long time no see."

Anger and adrenaline pumped through my veins as I whipped my Glock out. He wasn't real. He was a ghost, a phantom, a memory. Nothing tangible, nothing that could even in the slightest be real. I refused to believe that. I fired three shots, none of which hit, he moved faster than I remembered. Or maybe, since he wasn't real, they blew right through him. The gun was shot from my hands and I turned to see where it came from. The ghost and I were the only ones in the alley, then I noticed a glint of light coming from the rooftop of one of the buildings, a sniper? I had no time to think about it as I dove for my gun, narrowly missing it I decided to change tactics.

I ran straight for him, he wasn't expecting it, the gleam in his eyes told me so. I ducked low and sought to deliver a left swipe at his stomach, he was too quick for it, moving slightly more to the left he avoided it completely and my fist connected with air, throwing me off balance. He wasn't real if I couldn't touch him. If I couldn't land a hit then he was nothing more than a drunken illusion. And so far, he was proving me right.

I swung my leg around the back preparing for a roundhouse kick to his back. He swiftly moved out of my range and with the back of his hand swat my leg away. I regained my balance and immediately shifted into a right hook and put all my force into it. The ghost smiled and deftly moved just milliseconds before my fist would have connected with his face. I couldn't touch him, then again, why bother fighting with a ghost anyway? His movements were like water, they flowed in on smooth motion, able to change swiftly and move into a different rhythm. I felt we were dancing, weaving in and out of each others arms, close enough to feel each other's body heat, but not touching. I hated it; it was so _him_.

I stopped to catch my breath fast, my eyes traveled to my Glock which was abandoned on the ally floor a little ways down. He must've saw what I was about to do because at the exact moment both our feet flew across the floor in attempt to reach the gun. Though he was faster, I was closer; grabbing my Glock, I stood erect and targeted him dead between the eyes. He stopped moving and grinned lazily at me. My arm began to shake, out of rage or overwhelming sadness, I couldn't tell at that moment. I couldn't land a hit on him at all. This only proved he wasn't real, that he was nothing more than an apparition. My eyes were blurred with tears.

"Stop it!" I screamed, I felt my heart being ripped at the seams, it pounded against my rib cage in a face paced. I let the tears fall.

"Stop looking like him!" My gun was shaking, throwing off my aim. My sight was blurred by the tears.

"You're not Spike!" With that I shot two warning shots dangerously close to his face, I saw the breeze of the bullet ruffle his olive shaded hair. He didn't even flinch, had my arm been steady it could have really met him between his eyes. He took a step towards me, I fired two more shots, one grazing his jacket.

"Stay away from me!" I screamed into the night, he halted. Something in his eyes told me he had become unsure. Something that wasn't him. Then, it was like he decided something, he deliberately took one step closer, I stood my ground. He took another step and another. My outstretched gun was an inch away from his forehead, he halted his progress and just stared into my eyes.

"You're not real. You're not Spike!" I shouted again, pulling back the trigger on my Glock. A hollow click reverberated from the gun, I was out. I didn't bring down the gun, I still had it trained to his forehead. He watched me empty the cartridge while it was still dead straight at his forehead and reloaded. I wasn't letting go. I wasn't going to lose to a ghost.

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Okay, I guess I could have made that into two chapters, but you know when you start writing and it all just comes right out? Well that happened and I found that I just couldn't tear apart my work to make it into two chapters. Well tell me what you think guys, I appreciate the reviews =)


	3. Waking

Hey guys! Here's chapter two! Thanks for all the reviews, it really speeds up the writing process knowing that people enjoy reading this. Thanks to all who reviewed! Also, to that select one who said they can't help but compare my story to others, I'm not offended lol, no need for the sorry, I too have my favorite stories on . Thanks to those who pointed out my typos and grammar misfires, tell me if you spot more! I'll fix it right away. I just can't stand reading over what I already wrote lol, things end up changing too much to the point where I have no idea where I'm going with it. Keep up the reviewing guys =)

* * *

**Spike**

All was quiet, it seemed as if the world had stopped just for this moment. Only the moonlight lit the alley, as if it was a stage for the stalled world to watch. It seemed as even the slightest of breaths would ruin the moment. Her eyes bore into mine with such intensity, I hadn't moved an inch while she refilled the clip, I just stared, there was a ghost of a smile playing on my lips. This felt so familiar; oh that day so long ago. I saw her trigger finger twitch, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration. What was I going to do if she really fired? Absolutely nothing, but I wasn't about to stop after coming so far.

"Do you really think you can shoot me?" Her eyes widened in shock, they were the first words I spoke since she attacked me. In response, her grip on the gun became tighter, her aim steadier, she sure as hell looked ready to shoot me; I could read it in her eyes, 'arrogant asshole' they said. For a second time the Glock was shot out of her hands; I smirked, I looked up to see Touya give me a nod. I saw her eyes narrow as she scanned the buildings surrounding us, there! She spotted the tell-tale glint of a scope on the sixth story window on the building to my right. I knew the mirth in my eyes was heavy, she couldn't do it then and she wouldn't do it now, "You wouldn't have been able to anyway."

That was when saw her swing her right fist towards my face. I already knew it was coming though. She didn't stop, alternating between high kicks and low blows I managed to avoid them all, never once taking the offensive. I could tell she was tired, cold, a tad drunk. She screamed in frustration as her own kick threw her off balance when I moved away at the last second, sending her hurtling towards the ground, she picked herself up into a sitting position slowly. By reaction I bent down to help her up, she shrugged away from my approaching hand and I took it back.

"You're…you're not real if I can't hit you." She said, holding herself up off the ground with her fists; I could see the dirt caking into the cuts already there from the fall. _What?_ That's all this was? I was genuinely surprised, I knew she saw it too. I understood though, how could I have thought that our kind of reunion would be anything but tragic? She thinks I'm dead, in her mind I have been for a long time, I wouldn't know about her heart though. I rubbed the bottom of my jaw, already thinking how sore it was going to be when she got through with me. I sighed and prepared myself, I wasn't leaving here until she believed me. I wasn't leaving here without her. I knew what I had to do.

I sighed again, "I see," I said as I widened my stance, I saw a glint of surprise in her eyes, I turned my cheek to her. She stared at me long and hard, I stood unmoving, but braced. I watched as she stood on shaky legs, hands still fisted. I stood statue-like, waiting for her to hit me. It appeared that she wasn't about to disappoint. She threw her whole body into the force of that one punch, already bracing herself for the fall she had my other arm out to catch herself. Then just like that, her first connected with flesh, her body with my chest.

My face flew in the direction of her punch, but my stance was strong, I hadn't moved at all, even as the weight of her body crashed against mine. She still had it, I thought flexing my jaw. Her fists didn't stop though, she needed more proof. She needed to know for sure, and I let her. I could see what feel what she was thinking with every hit I took, 'this can't be real.' Her fists felt tiny against my chest, my body did not budge once despite her efforts. I let her hit me again and again, my arms just stretched out wide, letting her do what she wished.

I could feel her slowly running out, her eyes were getting drowsy, probably left over from all the alcohol. Her fists slowed to a stop and I felt her rest against me. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and hold her there. Before I could act on that thought, she moved away. She turned her back to me, I reached forward to entrap her in my arms, but she ducked down and came back up with her Glock. I rolled me eyes a bit, not this again. This time however, she didn't turn to face me. She didn't press the barrel against my forehead.

"They say you can't die in your dreams; that you always wake up right before you fall off that cliff." She let out a mirthless laugh. They way her hollow laugh bounced off the walls, how the ends of her hair shook with her body, the way her hand changed grip on the gun, it all clenched at my gut, I started to get nervous. What kind of crap was she spouting out now. Shooting a look to Touya, I made sure he was on the look out.

I said nothing as she shook, I think she was crying. My eyes were trained on her gun, this was Faye, one thing that even time won't be able to change was her tendency to be reckless, but who was I to talk; that's how I am and that's how I like 'em. I wish she would turn around, not being able to read her facial expressions disconcerted me. Then she did the unthinkable, she raised the gun –to her head. I understood then, the shit about dreams and dying. My heart clenched painfully, "God dammit Faye!" I shouted, I took a step towards her, she must've heard it, "Don't come any closer!"

"You're not him! Stop pretending to be him!" She screamed, with the gun pointed at her head halted my movements. This felling, this…fear, this type of fear was something I've never felt. I felt the slightest wrong move would send her in motion. I could feel my heart pounding against my ribcage. 'Oh God, she's such an idiot' I thought with such angry anxiety. Her finger kept on twitching on the trigger. She whipped around to face me. I could feel her eyes accusing me, daring me to move. Her eyes relaxed, she seemed like she was watching a hazy dream.

I heard the slight sound of a projectile whizzing through the air, one accompanied without the accompanied sound of a shot- a sign of a silencer, Faye hadn't seemed to notice it in her stupor. It only took a glance in Touya's direction to realize it wasn't him. My mind went into overdrive, eyes widening as I saw everything in slow motion. Time seemed move frame by frame, pausing on each individual moment:

Faye's angry eyes pointing the gun on herself,

Eyes widening in shock as her body felt the impact of something tiny,

Realization when she noticed she hadn't done it herself,

Body falling, strands of purple hair flying behind her,

Her crumpled doll-like form hitting pavement,

My feet being unable to make it to her,

Mind unwilling to believe what happened,

My throat clenched shut, I wasn't even able to shout her name as she lay there. Time finally resumed, I made it to Faye. She was gathered in my arms, what in the world. Anger coursed through my veins, my body shook with it, I couldn't see straight, I could barely see her face in my rage. She looked like she was sleeping. Unable to make words a guttural moan ripped from my throat, I felt my shoulders shake. I heard the rustle of movement on either side of me. Touya and Haji flanked either side of me, both kneeling to my position. I gently cradled Faye's head against my shoulder, her forgotten gun sliding out of her hand.

"Spike-sama!" Touya was the first to speak, I ignored him. Focusing only on how soft her hair felt beneath my fingers, everything else was lost to me.

"Spike-sama!" Touya came again, unfortunately for him right in the middle of caressing her hair, my hand shot out and I felt the flesh of his neck tense under my vise-like grip, I only saw red. Haji flinched, but nonetheless held his tongue.

"S-sh-e br-" he gasps between his strangled words, "eathes s-sir." My grip automatically slackened, then finally let go as I scanned Faye over once more. Her cheeks warm and red from the earlier activity, the almost unnoticeable rise and fall of her chest, both indeed pointed to life. The haze of red in my sight had lessened, everything in their natural color once more. I felt a flutter of hope, small, but growing every second I looked at her. I looked her over completely, I was sure she had been shot, no, there was no doubt in my mind that she had been. Then I saw it, there was no over pouring blood, there was no puddle of it on the dirty ground, I found it. A thin, silver blue dart, embedded into the junction between her neck and shoulder. It wasn't ours. My men had not done this, I felt the same initial anger coursing through my veins.

I pulled out the dart, carefully, her face subconsciously scrunched up in discomfort. I smoothed the spot over once I finished, Touya, ever loyal, put out his hand and I dropped the dart into it, "Find out who did this." I ground out between my teeth.

Touya nodded and tucked it safely in his pocket, with a nod both Haji and Touya were dismissed.

I moved the hair out of her eyes as I held her close to me; oh, there would be hell to pay.

* * *

**Faye**

I woke to the sound of a whining mutt. Grabbing the sides of my head I blocked out the incessant noise. Ein inched closer and licked at my face, ugh, wiping away the dog spit on my face I groggily got up. My head pounded with the sudden sensation of sitting up, I felt like all the contents of my head shifted side to side, banging at the insides of my skull. Ein quickly backed off as my uncoordinated feet touched the ground, where the hell was I? This question should have been obvious since Ein was with me, but my mind refused to piece it together. I took in my surroundings, the somewhat rusting metals walls, the mustard colored couches, and the distinct smell of Jet's cooking were all tell-tale signs.

"Oh Faye, you're up. I've got Bell Peppers and Beef coming up." Deja-vu washed over me, but then again, when don't we have Bell Peppers and Beef?

"Ugh, I don't think I can stomach it a second time Jet." I managed to spout out. I knew my stomach, before I came to the Bebop, it and I were the best of friends. I knew that whatever was shoved down in the next couple minutes was quickly going to be up-chucked the next.

"What do you mean again?" Jet poked his head out of the kitchen, "I'll have you remember we had miso stew last night, if I remember, Ed quite liked it,, or at least she didn't complain about it." He said thoughtfully.

I wasn't able to comprehend his words right at this moment. My entire mind was completely muddled. I didn't have miso stew? I had vodka, lots of vodka. Right…I was at a bar. I didn't even have to think of it long because Jet finished it for me, "Oh that's right, you went out and drank yourself under the table." He muttered, a little bitter. I had? I don't remember that. Jet only had to glance at me to know I had no recollection of whatever nonsense he was talking about.

"No, you wouldn't remember, would you?" Rhetorical question, of course, I ignored him, "I got a call from a bartender to haul your ass home." He grunted, I knew he was glaring at me, I didn't have to look to know it.

"Oh, is that so?" I said, lazily massaging my temples. Then the worst thing that could happen when you had a hangover happened; Ed came in the room. She was singing nonsense as usual. Why the hell was I at a bar? I only go there for info on bounties–

"Swimming Birdy, flying fish, are yummy yummy in Edwards tummy!"– Swimming Bird! Fuck swimming bird! No…Spike! I instantly shot forward and immediately regretted it. My body felt sore, but I knew hangovers ached. Shakily I got to my feet, completely ignoring her I burst into the kitchen and grabbed Jet's arm.

My eyes watered, it couldn't have been a dream. It was ironic. Was a dream or not? I had believed one thing last night and now fiercely refused to believe it now. It couldn't have been a dream. I felt the dirt grind into my wounds. I touched him; I felt the flesh of his face. I felt the cold metal of my gun pressed into my own head. It couldn't have been my imagination; I didn't have a great one to begin with. Spike was there. I saw Spike. Spike is alive. I felt it in my heart, my body, my soul. It can't be a dream, I refused for it to be a dream. I had to know.

* * *

**Jet**

She clung to my arm as if she were Ed herself. I ignored the hopeful shine in her eyes and kept on moving the pan over the stove-top. Her grip on my arm was tight, refusing to be ignored. She hope in her eyes, it sparkled and shone so bright through her verdant eyes. Talking to her would be harder to do if I had to see those eyes, "Jet! I…was, you…you really picked me up from the bar?" Her voice cracked twice in that one sentence.

Through gritted teeth I recited the script, "Yeah, sleeping right on the bar, hugging a bottle of vodka; an empty one, mind you." Her face fell at my words, I had to control the grip of my artificial hand as to not destroy the handle of the frying pan. Her hold tightened for just a second longer, willing herself to still believe, then slowly, ever so slowly, her hold on me fell away as she leaned herself against the frame of the door. Her body became lax against it and her eyes became glazed, as if looking into a far off place that surely was not our mere kitchen.

"Are you okay Faye?" I didn't even understand myself how I had the gall to ask that, I felt a wave of shame wash over me. She wrapped her arms around herself, as if trying to hold herself together. I should have never let her gone. I could see her collapsing inside herself, self-doubt rolling off her in thunderous waves.

"Have you ever had a dream, so real, that you could really feel the cold metal of a gun between your fingers? Smell the air you breathed? Taste the sting of the alcohol you drank?" She asked softly. I had, it came in the form of a woman. A woman so long ago, that it wasn't even worth mentioning anymore, but I felt the need to answer her, to at least acknowledge that there was once a time when I dreamed too.

"Yeah, it was just dream though." I said roughly, taking the pan off of the stove-top, carefully forking the contents out onto individual plates. Faye gazed at me with those eyes again. I knew she wasn't done with the subject.

"What happened?" I heard her speak again, even softer than before.

I sighed, walking towards the threshold to the common room, plates of bell peppers and beef in hand, I paused when I past her. She leaned against the wall; it seemed to be the only thing holding her up at the moment. Her head slightly slumped over her right shoulder as she still held herself with her arms. Carefully looking at her defeated expression, I gave her my answer. Then I left her with my words, leaving her collapsing into herself on the kitchen floor, pretending I didn't know that I was crushing her spirit, her very soul, oh…Faye.

"I woke up."

* * *


	4. Knowing

Thanks to all you reviewers! Many thanks for the inspirational words of Why-is-buggie-takeN, the encouragement was very welcomed! Much appreciated, really is. So here's the next chapter. Tell me what you think guys!

* * *

**Two Weeks Later**

**Faye**

The first thing I felt when I woke up was the thickness of cauliflower taste in my mouth, the tell-tale sign of drinking without the brushing of teeth after. Besides that, the pounding headache of the sudden rush of movement, looking at the clock, it was already 2:00 pm, but I wasn't too surprised. This has been happening for a while now. Slowly lifting myself off the bed, I put on clean clothes, taking in the condition of my room. For the past two weeks this had become the norm, dirty night clothes on the floor, empty bottles littering the floor, cigarette marks on the walls. The broken beta player and tape were still on the floor, I really should clean it up…maybe another day. I'm just so tired, there's nothing I can do about it.

I walked into the common room, Ed was playing on her Tomato, Jet was no where to be seen and I didn't particularly want to run into him after last night. He had to come pick me up again, I assume at least, since I don't remember it but somehow I magically made it back to the Bebop. It was too early to start drinking, casino was my best bet. Tonight I might switch it up, instead of the bar, I hear the casino calling my name, maybe after my winning streak I'd get some shots. But first, coffee was in order. Ed's head perked up at my sudden move for the kitchen, she squealed and trailed behind me, Tomato balanced precariously on head.

"Where Faye-Faye go?" Ed asked cheekily, running around the kitchen in wide circles, her running came to a halt right in front of me as she leaned her face into mine, completely disregarding the established personal bubble. Taking my finger and pushing her face a reasonable distance from mine, I gave her the usual alibi.

"Casino, what's it to you?" Couldn't have her coming with me.

"Edward wants to come with!"

"Not a chance." I raised a defined eyebrow, the last time she asked me to come with was when I left to find my own home, even then, I didn't let her come. I actually had grown fond of her, like a little sister maybe. For a split second I felt like I should spend more time with her. It was quickly abolished, what would come of it anyway? That had always been my mentality. But still…it be nice to maybe go out for ice cream. Another day then, "Why do you want to anyway?"

"Ed never sees Faye-Faye anymore! Faye-Faye always sleeping." Huh, yeah, I have. I can't help it though. By impulse I ruffled the top of her hair. It was then that I realized she was just like I was; she didn't have any place to return to, then she forced her way into the Bebop, making her home here.

"Maybe next time Ed, we'll go out for a girl's night." Ed seemed to be pacified with this for she ran off arms wide imitating an airplane. Before Jet could stop me, I was out the door and into the hangar, prepping my craft to take off. Flying over the city was a sombrous kind of beautiful, the city skyline and bright colors made it beautiful, then the life below, the people and the cruelty exuded from the city made it sorrowful. Somehow I found myself flying past the center of the city, past every casino, past the outer city limits, the into the desert area. I didn't stop till I saw an old, animal skin tent.

Pulling open the tent flap I found myself enveloped in a cloud of thick smoke. I was beginning to think that old man knew everything, from the law of the cosmos to the simplicity of counting. The depth of his eyes told all. And I could tell, ever since I came in, he had known, even if I thought he was just a senile bumbling fool. This was the third time I visited him for the past two weeks. I don't know why I stopped there. Maybe I needed more reassurance, maybe I just wanted to prove myself wrong, maybe I already knew everything was pointless now, maybe I just needed someone to tell me.

Although we sat in silence, words were being spoken. I don't know why I felt so apprehensive, I've known for two whole years now. Grains of sand were slipping through his fingers, I wonder if he saw the parallel, maybe he was doing it one purpose. I knew he was about to speak when he blew smoke from his pipe. I knew what he was about to say, every meeting we reached a little closer to the answer. I could feel it in my soul that he was going to finally tell me now; what I've been waiting to hear.

"You're time is almost up." His gravely voice rang throughout the tent. I wish I could say I was even remotely surprised, truth was I wasn't. I found I wasn't scared, not even slightly shaken. A strange calm passed over me as I closed my eyes and inhaled the smoke filled air. Yes, this was what I was waiting for.

"I died over fifty years ago." I lifted myself off the floor and made my way out of the tent. It had started raining, I felt the beads of water massage my face, rolling down my cheeks and trailing down my neck, I was completely soaked, but I found I had not a care. Knowing made me feel more alive than I had in the last five years. I had gotten the answer I came for. Now all I needed was a drink, or five.

* * *

**Jet**

All was quiet on the Bebop. Ed and Ein went on deck to play with her Tomato. Faye was probably out; again. I sighed, idly sitting in front of my Bonsai tree garden. Damn, my tree had become lopsided in one unbalanced snip. Her emotions came in waves; depression, disbelief, anger, then finally silent resignation. Her current stage: silent resignation. It was noticeable when she reached the last stage. She woke up, went through the motions, then went to sleep. It was as if nothing ever happened, it went by unacknowledged. I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or worried. But, I was sure, almost positive, that this was as good as it could get, my lie was what helped her in the end, I think. I didn't know how the hell she got home that night, but she did, and that's all I cared about; although I'm pretty sure I could take a guess at how it happened or exactly who happened.

Spike was alive, that much was obvious. I wasn't even the one to find out about it first. ISSP, for once in their entire career since I left, came up with the info. Not the name or picture, but I pieced it together easily enough. It was only when Faye said the name 'Swimming Bird' that I was absolutely sure who it was, without a doubt in my mind. Not that I'd tell her, he was bad news and he finally realized it that night after our furious encounter. She was going to get hurt, even more so than now.

"Hungry! Hungry! Hungry!" I could hear Ed's voice echo through the halls and to avoid her barreling into my trees I got up and began making my way to the kitchen. Walking down the hallway, I passed empty rooms. The first of which had been vacant for a little over two years now; Spike's. There was nothing left in the room save for a single mattress and ruffled sheets, nothing had been touched once he left. He never had anything of his own besides the clothes on his back, a pack on cigarettes and his faithful Jericho. Next room up was Ed's, looking in, I couldn't really tell what was what. Heaps and piles of wires and electronic devices littered the floor.

Faye's was the one furthest down, closest to the showers that she loves to hog. Peeking in, I saw the ratty suitcase she had used to shove her belongings into on her frequent escapes. The looked fully packed, but shoved into the corner of her room. My eyes traveled over to the TV set and the beta player; the one that was thoroughly smashed along with a smashed tape sitting atop of it. I scratched at my head due to the sudden itch and annoyance from seeing the player that Spike and I went through such troubles to acquire. It was done for. I bent down to pick up the pieces and discard them; since it was broken it meant she didn't want to see it I assume. Moving it around, I found something else, underneath all the bits. Another tape?

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion. When the hell did this come? Faye paid a COD charge herself? Fat chance. Who the hell were these tapes even from? I needed a smoke. Holding the tape in my hands sprang up whole new questions. She had never mentioned it at all. Then again, the first tape was never talked about. Even after she regained her memory, we never spoke about her past. Each of the Bebop's crew had an ambiguous past, and to each his own I say. After the initial confusion, an insatiable curiosity rose with fury.

I had to watch it. It was laying underneath a pile of junk, out of sight, she couldn't even watch it because she destroyed the player, she probably wouldn't even miss it if I got in back under all the garbage soon. With this line of thinking, I justified my stealing of the tape. Slipping it into the pocket of my pant, I controlled my walk to a stroll, my guilt somewhat trailing behind me. I knew she wasn't going to be home for a while, hell, I was the one who would have to pick her up again. She would be too drunk to even remember about the tape, despite that, I felt the tape become heavier in my pocket.

Grumbling to myself, I thought about the change in her. For the first couple days after, she cried in her room. She didn't eat, didn't shower, didn't sleep. Then, it changed all of the sudden. She got up and showered and ate and then, for the next couple days, she frequented that damn 'Crow Bar.' She had believed he would come back for her, that he was really there, that it wasn't just a dream. She sat there at the bar everyday. After the first couple days, we began running low on money, meaning no food for the perpetually hungry Ed. When this happened I decided to take the offensive and get Faye off her ass. My interference brought upon the anger stage. Old Faye returned, the argumentative pig-headed fool. Her tantrums shook the walls and Ed soon called her the 'ticking-time bomb go boom lady.' She only listened to me once we didn't even have enough money to buy dog food.

It lit a fire under her ass needless to say, since during times of scarce food she had become accustomed to Ein's. She almost became obsessive in her hunting. She took on any and every, even when we did get enough money to buy food. I think she took her excessive anger out on them all. She became relentless. I couldn't call her reckless though, she never once came home with a scratch. Not the tiniest bruise or the slightest cut. After many days of that, she never spoke of the Spike subject. It was like she didn't even know who Spike was. As if he was never part of her life, as if it had all faded away. This may be in part due to her nonstop drinking, while before it was just at the 'Crow Bar' in hopes to see Spike again, this time, it seemed to be just to drink it all away. Now instead of my story, she would really drink herself under the table, resulting in a call from Josh to the Bebop. Needless to say, Josh and I had become very well acquainted.

The large vein in my neck popped out due to irritation at Faye and Ed, whose teeth were currently barring into my forearm, oh right, hungry.

"Ed…"

"Hwuangry." Her voice was muffled because my forearm which was currently between her teeth. My mind was too preoccupied to cook now. I spied bananas, real pieces of fresh fruit on the counter; we could afford those nowadays. I ripped one off and threw it at her, she squealed happily and caught it.

"Potassium, go." I grumbled, watching her zoom out of the room, banana in hand. I was already out and halfway to my Hammerhead before I realized where I was heading. Mars, downtown district, video freak fanboy. Hopefully, he won't recognize me, but the overall metal of my body was irrefutable. I made my way to the hangar and powered up my ship. The tape felt like a dead weight. Taking off, I flew off over the city, the signs and building creating a gallery of lights across the skyline. It was only when I landed that I noticed something; more specifically someone.

"Where is Jet-Person going?" A squeal came from behind me as a chin plopped down on my shoulder.

"Dammit Ed!" I shouted as I jumped.

"Jet-Person had heart-boom! Jet-Person know not that Edward was there!" Ed spazzed. Of course, I thought.

"Edward wants to go too!" I sighed, I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. Leaving her on the Bebop alone would cause untold horrors. On the other hand taking her with me could prove to be a veritable hassle. But…my Bonsai trees were onboard….God dammit, she was coming. I found a spot to land my craft, and Ed immediately jumped out like a flying monkey. Slowly walking down the district I prayed to some higher power that the video junkie wouldn't remember me.

Random screens lit the night, neon signs blazed in the sky, the overwhelming smell of sewer and beef filled the air, this was the Mars I knew. Ed ran to and fro, pressing her face against window panes and stuffing her hands in random piles of junk, then finally trailing behind me with wide eyes. I think she saw the beta tape in my hands, her eyes took on a glassy look of interest, she was somewhat salivating over it. Rounding the corner, I saw the TV screens piled up one on top of another, and in the very back I saw the milky white glow of a screen casting over a young brat.

**Ed**

Jet-Person walked into hidey hole. No come out for long time. Jet-Person come out lots later, Edward bored now! Ed no like the face of Jet-Person when we go home, angry and unhappy. Shoulders looked low to ground like Ein-doggy's! He ignored Edward all the way home! Jet-Person was holding a new beta, Faye-Persons? I take tape right out of Jet-Person's handy hands, he almost break, he no notice Ed take.

—when Spike-Person come back? Ed no see after Jet-Person and Spike-Person fight fourteen dubloon days ago!

Faye-Faye not home yet. Jet-Person needs to pick Faye-Faye up still. Poor Faye-Faye! Ed hears Faye-Faye cry nights.

"Ed give that back!" Jet-Person noticed Ed holding beta. Jet-Person so serious now.

"Ed, look at me, we don't tell Faye about today at all." Jet-Person has shiny in eyes now.

Ed nods.

Jet-Person hugs Ed. It is nice, but Ed confused.

Jet-Person is almost Father-Person! Ed feels something wrong.

Ed knows Jet-Person quiet crying, Ed crying now too.

Ed can't understand.

* * *

I had to throw a little Edward in there. Please review!


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